“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,
Couldn’t put Humpty back together again.”
-Someone’s brilliant idea of a nursery rhyme
Let’s look at that for a second. Egghead is sitting on a wall, falls over, cracks himself open and there’s no super glue in the kingdom to be found. That sounds like a pretty rough ending. But what if there was no wall for him to fall from?
I’ve decided that walls are stupid. I get the gist of them — they mark your property boundary, they keep the boogeymen at bay. But what about the other walls? You know, the defensive ones that you create to protect yourself. When you’d rather not risk rejection … BAM! There’s a wall. When you feel self-conscious about the weight you’ve gained … BAM! Another one. When you feel like you aren’t a good enough parent/spouse/friend/child/sibling, so you shut down … aaaaaand there’s the moat around the wall. Until one day, you look at yourself and see nothing but bricks and mortar.
I’ve been doing a lot of writing for work lately. I’ve only recently started feeling comfortable sharing parts of my life with our readers. Most likely even you (unless you’re Husband, Sparky or a family member), don’t know a whole lot about me unless we’ve actually met in person. Even if we have met, would you really truly know *me*? Where I was born, how many siblings I have(if I have any), my favorite color, or my favorite holiday? I realize that most of y’all don’t know much about me, because I haven’t let you in. And I’m sorry.
Although I’m an introvert, I can’t use that as an excuse. You trust me with your details, but I very rarely trust you with mine. My walls are built sky-high. I make fun of myself easily, but really, it’s a defense mechanism to deflect any incoming criticism or rejection. Even when I dismantle the defenses, eventually they build themselves back up again.
How does this relate to Humpty? Well, friends, if my walls keep building themselves up, then eventually I will fall, crack, and hope that there is a Costco-sized vat of superglue somewhere to put me back together. The other option is that I just take a big ol’ sledgehammer to these walls and not have to worry about falling. It may take time, but eventually it’ll get there.
In the meantime, let me introduce myself. My name is Stacy, and I was born in small hamlet up on the Northern California coast. I have one older brother, two brother-in-laws and one sister-in-law. My favorite color is a tie between red and blue. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. It is a true pleasure to meet you.